Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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