Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
