Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
time to smoke my breakfast
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize