i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
