Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
