he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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