I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
