can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize