would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize