More tranny stories later!
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize