puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
