why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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