Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I touched a dick in church today
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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