Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize