I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
