yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Just high enough for therapy.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
