Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
