All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Randomize
