I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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