you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests đ
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
He sang the chorus to âInside of youâ by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldnât even be mad, that probably took talent
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