I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
