i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
