Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
