it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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