ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
