This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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