Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
