I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
