just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
