Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize