Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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