she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
