I'm really into asian looking animals
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
