i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
