Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
