yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
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