Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
