Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize