I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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