You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
