Duck Duck Cougar?
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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