"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
