you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Do vagina's smell?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
