pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize