HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Randomize
