he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
