I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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