Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
