im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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