i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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