did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
