And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
