and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
