if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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