just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
two words...techno handjob
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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