This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
