Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize