Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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