Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
