you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
