I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
