Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Drake has all the answers
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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