hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize