If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
