We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
