He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
