today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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